Sunday, December 02, 2007

Realizations at Christmas

Ok. So we've had a busy couple of weeks, and it almost seems like it's slowing down for us some. That's so nice. I actually had a Saturday where I only had a birthday party that evening, and that's really where I'm going with this post.

Several years ago (at least 8) the Lord sent a very special young lady into my life. Had I known at the time the road we were to travel and the plans God had for us, I don't know that I would have believed it. I was 28 and the mother of 2. I had a great job and that a young 18 year old girl would come in and steal part of my heart was not anywhere in my best laid plans. However, how often does God consult with our best laid plans when looking at what's best for us and our lives -- never. So He sent me this beautiful, young, confused, seeking and searching young woman to befriend. At that point in our lives, the only thing I could do was offer sage advice when asked and make sure she was fed (Ramon noodles) and sheltered (julia's bed) when her world came crashing down on her over and over again.

See she had met this young, handsome, strong willed young man - at my house no less-- and fallen in love with him. Their road was not an easy one, and for me it was a very fine line to walk between telling her what she wanted to hear verses what she needed to hear and being available for her all the time, no matter the choices and decisions she made. I got to watch as she fell in love with him, and then I got to tend to her wounded spirit when he broke her heart, and then once again I stood by her as he worked on mending her heart and their love was put back together.

I remember sitting in the back of the church during her wedding telling the person I was sitting beside that I would kill him if he ever hurt her - and meaning every word of it. A little while after that I remember thinking that I had lost her. There was a space between us then, but I realized it was not because of him, but mainly because of life and all that it encompasses. I know she felt my disappointment but in my defense I had been the one to help put the pieces back together when her life was ripped apart and the warrior chick in me rose up against anyone coming close to her that could cause that much pain. I had seen her broken, and I didn't know if I could handle it again and surely she couldn't either.

Now it's like there was never any space there at all and what space there was served the purpose of drawing us closer together. As I was leaving her house last night where we had a birthday party for her husband, I realized that I finally trust in his love for her enough that I don't worry about that anymore. It's not that I didn't think that he loved her, I know he did, but it was just a clear simple whisper to my soul that said "put that worry away". I'm not sure exactly when I let go of that fear for her -- surely it's been gone for awhile now -- but it was a comfort to me to know it was no longer there. Too bad it took me several years and three babies later to clue myself in.

Some connections we have with people are so hard to explain and when we try, there are no words in the dictionary to describe them. Sister, friend, mentor, companion, fun-seeker - God connections that he brings to us to make our lives more full and complete. God knew what He was doing when He was writing the book of my life. He knew how much she would need me and I her. She knows there's little I wouldn't do for her and now it seems her family has fallen into that place as well. This is just another one of those gifts that God has given me this Christmas season and to Him I say thanks for the gift!

Blessings!
Joy