Something I've discovered recently is how much I have changed my focus as a parent. No longer am I trying to teach my children the difference between right and wrong, hopefully that's pretty much done (thank goodness for that), but I am now moving into a phase where the questions are harder, the situations more complex, and the ability to mold and shape the character of my children is really in my hands. It's a weighty thought for me.
It is my desire and intention to teach my son and daughter all aspects of life, not just the good. We (Greg and I) have tried really hard not to make our children into who WE want them to be, but for them to become who God wants them to be. It's not easy -- looking at your children through non-speckled glasses. We as parents want them to be the most beautiful, the smartest, the fastest, the best, the one who always gets picked at everything but real life is not like that. But oh how we set ourselves up for disappointment if we only see them how we want too and not for who they really are.
So how do we do that? It starts with the knowledge that my children are not mine. I gave both of them to God before they were born, just so thankful to be allowed to be their mother. They are not toys or able to be programmed, but tiny humans with a will and path of their own. I am simply fortunate that for the first 18 years or so of their lives, their path goes the same direction as mine. It also means that I, as a parent have to know the strengths and weaknesses, good and bad, pretty and the ugly of both my children. If I only work to bolster their strengths and never teach them to overcome their weaknesses, then I have failed to prepare them for the real world. If I only provide for them the highs of life, and never teach them about the lows and how to deal with them, again, I have failed to prepare them for the real world.
Let's face it, the real world is not all roses. It's ugly sometimes, and at times it's really not fair. So if I can teach them now that when they are angry and frustrated because life isn't going their way to take all of that stuff that's inside them and take it to God and say -- "Here Lord, I have all this junk inside of me that is keeping me from being the man or woman I want to be. Take it so I can focus on being the child of God you've called me to be - one of integrity, character, with a GREAT ATTITUDE." -- then when situations come in life they will know how to deal with it and move on and not dwell in that place. We don't prepare our children to fail, but to know how to deal with failure (or what feels like failure) and disappointment when it comes.
Where is all of this coming from? It has come from Joel being in a place he's never been before....sitting the bench. It happens sometimes. Everyone else seems to be in the game, and even though we want to play and we have the skills and abilities necessary, sometimes it's just our time to sit the bench. We get hurt and have to sit out. We are in a growth spurt causing our joints to stretch painfully and we have to sit out. And sometimes the Coach just knows that it's just not our time. Sitting the bench is hard. Watching people get to do things that you want to do and not be able to do them too, is hard. Being made to feel like you're not as good as others by people who don't know what's going on is hard. But in this game called life, I want my children to know that there is much good to come from sitting the bench. Our bodies gain healing from sitting the bench. Our minds and spirits restored while sitting the bench. Our mission and purpose are supercharged and more clearly defined while sitting on the bench. Our passion for the game we are sitting out of is restored while sitting on the bench watching others play. Sitting on the bench provides opportunities to really look at our team mates and give them an encouraging word when needed. Sitting on the bench is when our character is truly sharpened and we are not necessarily seen for what we can do, but for who we are.
Playing the game or sitting the bench, if I can instill the fact that His light is what needs to shine through us at both places...well, I've done the job I was supposed to do - or at least one of them anyway! Now...on to the next!
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Sunday, September 14, 2008
He is Here
This is just one thing taken away from an awesome weekend with my Lord....Enjoy!
Blessings!
Joy
Friday, September 05, 2008
The Roman Road
When I was growing up at home, my father (who was also the Pastor then) would often advise young Christians to begin their journey with the Lord in the book of Romans. I can remember him telling them to walk the Roman Road with Paul. Of course, this was many, many years ago and that had totally left my mind until one morning I was sitting having devotions while on vacation last month when I could clearly once again hear his words in my head and felt the Lord drawing me to take a walk with him down the Romans Road.
I have since completed my journey down the Romans Road and cannot even begin to tell you how much the Lord spoke to me through those passages of scripture. I read it in the Message version of the Bible, usually reading just a chapter a night and night after night, I found myself faced with foundational truths that are often over looked by some Christians.
Out of everything I learned, relearned and discovered, the Lord spoke to my heart the most through Romans chapter 5. Could it be because patience is what God is trying to develop in me? Or maybe it's because He just wanted to confirm to me the "Spacious Place" that He longs for me to live in. Read what He is saying:
3-5 There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!
6-8 Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.
9-11 Now that we are set right with God by means of this sacrificial death, the consummate blood sacrifice, there is no longer a question of being at odds with God in any way. If, when we were at our worst, we were put on friendly terms with God by the sacrificial death of his Son, now that we're at our best, just think of how our lives will expand and deepen by means of his resurrection life! Now that we have actually received this amazing friendship with God, we are no longer content to simply say it in plodding prose. We sing and shout our praises to God through Jesus, the Messiah!
WOW! When I was at my worst, I was put on friendly terms with God through the death of Jesus. So unworthy....that's how I feel. Did you catch the part in verse 2 where Paul is telling us of the wide-open spaces that the Lord longs for us to live in? I sure did. And the more I read, the more my spiritual eyes were opened to see that if we live in the wide-open spaces that He has called us too, then verse 5 truly becomes a reality for our lives in that we cannot round up enough containers to hold all that God is pouring into us by his Spirit.
That is the place I am now. God is doing so much in my life that I have a hard time forming the words to truly praise Him the way that my soul longs too. Revival has come to my spirit in a way it never has before....I have a true hunger for the Word that I never had before. I could spend days just reading and soaking it all in. There is an thirst for more of Him that I cannot quench no matter how much time I spend in prayer and study. Everyday, there is some new way that I am able to rejoice in Him because of His revelation to me or someone close to me! If I was able, I would steal away somewhere, just me and Jesus for as long as I could stand to be with Him. Just so that I could give Him my undivided attention. Right now, I am so thankful that I am able to spend the time with him that I do, which has really increased since my children are older. But I want MORE. My soul cries out for More -- more of Him and less of me, more time with Him, more knowledge of Him, so much more that I can hardly recognize myself for seeing Him. And I am determined that no matter what it takes I will continue until I get all that He has for me and I become the daughter He designed for me to be! I may be 80 years old and still on this journey, but I will not quit - the reward will be worth it all.
I love living "out in the open, into a spacious, free life". (Romans 8:6b)
So, if your stumped...if you don't know where to start...if you need direction...I encourage you take a walk down the Roman Road. There's no better place than the spacious place He's designed just for you.
Blessings!
Joy
I have since completed my journey down the Romans Road and cannot even begin to tell you how much the Lord spoke to me through those passages of scripture. I read it in the Message version of the Bible, usually reading just a chapter a night and night after night, I found myself faced with foundational truths that are often over looked by some Christians.
Out of everything I learned, relearned and discovered, the Lord spoke to my heart the most through Romans chapter 5. Could it be because patience is what God is trying to develop in me? Or maybe it's because He just wanted to confirm to me the "Spacious Place" that He longs for me to live in. Read what He is saying:
1-2 By entering through faith into what God has always wanted to do for us—set us right with him, make us fit for him—we have it all together with God because of our Master Jesus. And that's not all: We throw open our doors to God and discover at the same moment that he has already thrown open his door to us. We find ourselves standing where we always hoped we might stand—out in the wide open spaces of God's grace and glory, standing tall and shouting our praise.
3-5 There's more to come: We continue to shout our praise even when we're hemmed in with troubles, because we know how troubles can develop passionate patience in us, and how that patience in turn forges the tempered steel of virtue, keeping us alert for whatever God will do next. In alert expectancy such as this, we're never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can't round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!
6-8 Christ arrives right on time to make this happen. He didn't, and doesn't, wait for us to get ready. He presented himself for this sacrificial death when we were far too weak and rebellious to do anything to get ourselves ready. And even if we hadn't been so weak, we wouldn't have known what to do anyway. We can understand someone dying for a person worth dying for, and we can understand how someone good and noble could inspire us to selfless sacrifice. But God put his love on the line for us by offering his Son in sacrificial death while we were of no use whatever to him.
9-11 Now that we are set right with God by means of this sacrificial death, the consummate blood sacrifice, there is no longer a question of being at odds with God in any way. If, when we were at our worst, we were put on friendly terms with God by the sacrificial death of his Son, now that we're at our best, just think of how our lives will expand and deepen by means of his resurrection life! Now that we have actually received this amazing friendship with God, we are no longer content to simply say it in plodding prose. We sing and shout our praises to God through Jesus, the Messiah!
WOW! When I was at my worst, I was put on friendly terms with God through the death of Jesus. So unworthy....that's how I feel. Did you catch the part in verse 2 where Paul is telling us of the wide-open spaces that the Lord longs for us to live in? I sure did. And the more I read, the more my spiritual eyes were opened to see that if we live in the wide-open spaces that He has called us too, then verse 5 truly becomes a reality for our lives in that we cannot round up enough containers to hold all that God is pouring into us by his Spirit.
That is the place I am now. God is doing so much in my life that I have a hard time forming the words to truly praise Him the way that my soul longs too. Revival has come to my spirit in a way it never has before....I have a true hunger for the Word that I never had before. I could spend days just reading and soaking it all in. There is an thirst for more of Him that I cannot quench no matter how much time I spend in prayer and study. Everyday, there is some new way that I am able to rejoice in Him because of His revelation to me or someone close to me! If I was able, I would steal away somewhere, just me and Jesus for as long as I could stand to be with Him. Just so that I could give Him my undivided attention. Right now, I am so thankful that I am able to spend the time with him that I do, which has really increased since my children are older. But I want MORE. My soul cries out for More -- more of Him and less of me, more time with Him, more knowledge of Him, so much more that I can hardly recognize myself for seeing Him. And I am determined that no matter what it takes I will continue until I get all that He has for me and I become the daughter He designed for me to be! I may be 80 years old and still on this journey, but I will not quit - the reward will be worth it all.
I love living "out in the open, into a spacious, free life". (Romans 8:6b)
So, if your stumped...if you don't know where to start...if you need direction...I encourage you take a walk down the Roman Road. There's no better place than the spacious place He's designed just for you.
Blessings!
Joy
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
Prayer Power
"It is our tendency to believe that history belongs to the powerful, the wealthy, the corporations, or the global media enterprises. But it doesn't. History belongs to the intercessors. Think about it: Moses' prayer changed the destiny of a nation; Daniel's prayer of forgiveness brought about a fresh pouring of God's grace; Jesus told the stories of the persistent widow and of the persistent neighbor for a reason. Prayer changes things, no matter how big or small. By devoting ourselves to this vital discipline, we can draw upon that same power." ~ Unknown.
Wednesday, July 16, 2008
A new hero
Monday night was a very unusual night for me. On Monday's, I normally try to get one to those chores done that seems to stay on my list. You know ~ the ones that you know have to be done ~ you just hate doing them. For me, it was time to tackle the coat closet. Ugh! Just the thought made me want to postpone, but honestly, I've been postponing for two years, so tackle the closet I did.
Normally, I will put on some type of music while I'm working this way, but Monday I decided to put the channel on MLB's Home Run Derby. Little did I know that it was not by chance I chose that to watch.
So, here I am, cleaning out the closet, piles of scarves, hats, gloves, coats, etc. all over my living room, and a guy comes up to hit by the name of Josh Hamilton and suddenly my eyes are glued to the television and I sat down.
Before Monday night, I had never heard of Josh Hamilton but the moment he came up to hit, I was immediately prompted by the Holy Spirit to watch. And watch I did. And then I cried and without restraint, began praying as I was led by the Holy Spirit for this professional baseball player for the Texas Rangers that I had never heard of before all the while watching history being made. I was not praying for him to make history. No, I was prompted to pray for his protection, favor, and strength as he uses the game of baseball to impact lives for eternity. Interceding on his behalf in a most powerful way. Thinking of it even now brings tears to my eyes.
This has really only happened to me once before that I recall. I remember laying in my bed watching George Bush accept the nomination for the republican party the first time he was running for president and the Lord sending me to my knees in tears and intercession for him. I couldn't have stopped the prayers if I had wanted too! And it felt much the same this time.
If you don't know or haven't heard of Josh Hamilton, here is a link to his personal testimony:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1861466/posts
He, like many others, had to hit rock bottom to be able to look up and see that his salvation only came from above. That he is not dead is amazing, but his rise to the place he's in now is truly a miracle for today.
All of this really caused me to ponder why the Lord would want me to pray for him. Surely my prayers are no more powerful than anyone else's. Maybe it was just that I was watching and my heart was positioned to follow the prompting of the spirit. Or maybe it's because He just wanted to see if I would obey. Whatever the reason, it brought to my mind that several weeks ago when I called and listened to a message on my answering machine from a precious lady in our church who called to let me know she had been praying that morning and the Lord had prompted her to pray for me! She was just calling to let me know she was praying and making sure I was OK. Our church is so big now, that I don't even get to see her most Sundays, and I know that I hadn't shared with anyone my struggles (because I don't do that...at all....and it's not always a good thing) so how overwhelming it was for me to get that call. It was just the Lord's way of letting me know that He had not forgotten me, and He was helping me through, and boy did I need it.
It has made me realize that anytime the Lord prompts us to pray that it is so important to obey. There are lives, hurts, grief, spiritual battles, and more that hang in the balance. What a precious gift it is to be able to go the the Father on someones behalf...fighting with them....often times when they are unable to fight for themselves.
So, now I have a new hero in today's world. A man whose life was being destroyed by sin, but who God wanted to use to bring honor and glory unto him. A professional athlete that my son can look up to. Someone who is not ashamed to give thanks to his "Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" in front of millions of people. And it seems I also have a new baseball team to pull for and a new favorite player!!
Sounds to me like he's living in a spacious place...delighted in by the Father, and rescued. Psalm 18:19. And isn't that what life in Christ is all about?
Blessings!
Joy
Normally, I will put on some type of music while I'm working this way, but Monday I decided to put the channel on MLB's Home Run Derby. Little did I know that it was not by chance I chose that to watch.
So, here I am, cleaning out the closet, piles of scarves, hats, gloves, coats, etc. all over my living room, and a guy comes up to hit by the name of Josh Hamilton and suddenly my eyes are glued to the television and I sat down.Before Monday night, I had never heard of Josh Hamilton but the moment he came up to hit, I was immediately prompted by the Holy Spirit to watch. And watch I did. And then I cried and without restraint, began praying as I was led by the Holy Spirit for this professional baseball player for the Texas Rangers that I had never heard of before all the while watching history being made. I was not praying for him to make history. No, I was prompted to pray for his protection, favor, and strength as he uses the game of baseball to impact lives for eternity. Interceding on his behalf in a most powerful way. Thinking of it even now brings tears to my eyes.
This has really only happened to me once before that I recall. I remember laying in my bed watching George Bush accept the nomination for the republican party the first time he was running for president and the Lord sending me to my knees in tears and intercession for him. I couldn't have stopped the prayers if I had wanted too! And it felt much the same this time.
If you don't know or haven't heard of Josh Hamilton, here is a link to his personal testimony:
http://www.freerepublic.com/focus/f-news/1861466/posts
He, like many others, had to hit rock bottom to be able to look up and see that his salvation only came from above. That he is not dead is amazing, but his rise to the place he's in now is truly a miracle for today.
All of this really caused me to ponder why the Lord would want me to pray for him. Surely my prayers are no more powerful than anyone else's. Maybe it was just that I was watching and my heart was positioned to follow the prompting of the spirit. Or maybe it's because He just wanted to see if I would obey. Whatever the reason, it brought to my mind that several weeks ago when I called and listened to a message on my answering machine from a precious lady in our church who called to let me know she had been praying that morning and the Lord had prompted her to pray for me! She was just calling to let me know she was praying and making sure I was OK. Our church is so big now, that I don't even get to see her most Sundays, and I know that I hadn't shared with anyone my struggles (because I don't do that...at all....and it's not always a good thing) so how overwhelming it was for me to get that call. It was just the Lord's way of letting me know that He had not forgotten me, and He was helping me through, and boy did I need it.
It has made me realize that anytime the Lord prompts us to pray that it is so important to obey. There are lives, hurts, grief, spiritual battles, and more that hang in the balance. What a precious gift it is to be able to go the the Father on someones behalf...fighting with them....often times when they are unable to fight for themselves.
So, now I have a new hero in today's world. A man whose life was being destroyed by sin, but who God wanted to use to bring honor and glory unto him. A professional athlete that my son can look up to. Someone who is not ashamed to give thanks to his "Lord and Savior Jesus Christ" in front of millions of people. And it seems I also have a new baseball team to pull for and a new favorite player!!
Sounds to me like he's living in a spacious place...delighted in by the Father, and rescued. Psalm 18:19. And isn't that what life in Christ is all about?
Blessings!
Joy
Tuesday, June 03, 2008
Simple Pleasures
Simple pleasures. I'm rediscovering these as my life has taken a major shift from being overly busy to being normal, and I'm loving every minute of it.
Here are some of the simple pleasures I've rediscovered:
1) Reading a book ~ for pleasure sake only. Not a book that enhances knowledge or causes your mind to flex, but a book simply read for the great story it tells. I would rather read a book than watch T.V. And after over two years of denying myself this treat, you can bet I have a lot of reading to make up for.
2) Watching a TV show for pure enjoyment. Sure, my TV has been on much while I was in college, but it was on Hannah Montana or The Suite Life of Zach and Cody. Never on shows that I like to watch, but now, I can actually sit in front of the TV and watch a show and not feel like there are so many other things that must be done and papers to write, and enjoy it. Isn't it just great for my husband that I like watching the sports as much as he does?
3) Fixing Dinner ~ I'm sure some of you just fell on the floor at that one, but really, when one actually has time to think about what to cook, and can actually plan it out, there is pleasure in your family eating your meal and enjoying it.
4) Movie night with a girlfriend ~ Being able to plan for someone to come over and actually spend some time relaxing with conversation and a good movie is nourishment to the soul. I plan on making this one a habit.
5) Enjoying one of Joel's ball games without some type of school book in my hands or the car waiting for me. Really being able to relax and be in that moment with him is something that I haven't been able to do, but now that I don't have so many other things on my mind, I am able to really enjoy his progress and games with him. How much have I missed out on??
6) Sitting at the movies with my love's arm around me! This is something that I will never get tired of, I will always treasure, and will still enjoy when I'm 90 years old. We spent the evening at the movies tonight, and while I was sitting there enjoying Iron Man with him (it's a GREAT movie, by the way), I tried to take a snapshot in my mind of the moment, simply because there was so much pleasure in it. A great movie, the weight of his arm on my neck, his hand rubbing my shoulder. It doesn't get much better than that!
7) Sunday evenings. Every Sunday evening since I started school, I have spent it finishing up assignments for the week, rushing to get everything turned in by the deadline, and reading/contributing to many discussion board posts. However, with graduation, I have found that I have my Sunday evenings back, and I now know how much I truly missed them. And it also makes me wonder how I ever survived without them!
and
8) Writing to be able to share. Not for a grade. Not a two page paper to be turned in on Sunday evening by midnight. Not a research paper. Not even a topic for sharing with others. Writing to put in print what is churning in my heart or my head. Writing to record a memory so I don't ever forget. Writing to leave a legacy for my children. Writing to share a truth with a friend.
I am sure as the days continue on, I will rediscover more and more simple pleasures that I have missed out on. I will be sure that when they come along I will once again be truly amazed at how much God loves me and thankful that my eyes and heart is open to enjoy the moment.
Blessings!
Joy
Here are some of the simple pleasures I've rediscovered:
1) Reading a book ~ for pleasure sake only. Not a book that enhances knowledge or causes your mind to flex, but a book simply read for the great story it tells. I would rather read a book than watch T.V. And after over two years of denying myself this treat, you can bet I have a lot of reading to make up for.
2) Watching a TV show for pure enjoyment. Sure, my TV has been on much while I was in college, but it was on Hannah Montana or The Suite Life of Zach and Cody. Never on shows that I like to watch, but now, I can actually sit in front of the TV and watch a show and not feel like there are so many other things that must be done and papers to write, and enjoy it. Isn't it just great for my husband that I like watching the sports as much as he does?
3) Fixing Dinner ~ I'm sure some of you just fell on the floor at that one, but really, when one actually has time to think about what to cook, and can actually plan it out, there is pleasure in your family eating your meal and enjoying it.
4) Movie night with a girlfriend ~ Being able to plan for someone to come over and actually spend some time relaxing with conversation and a good movie is nourishment to the soul. I plan on making this one a habit.
5) Enjoying one of Joel's ball games without some type of school book in my hands or the car waiting for me. Really being able to relax and be in that moment with him is something that I haven't been able to do, but now that I don't have so many other things on my mind, I am able to really enjoy his progress and games with him. How much have I missed out on??
6) Sitting at the movies with my love's arm around me! This is something that I will never get tired of, I will always treasure, and will still enjoy when I'm 90 years old. We spent the evening at the movies tonight, and while I was sitting there enjoying Iron Man with him (it's a GREAT movie, by the way), I tried to take a snapshot in my mind of the moment, simply because there was so much pleasure in it. A great movie, the weight of his arm on my neck, his hand rubbing my shoulder. It doesn't get much better than that!
7) Sunday evenings. Every Sunday evening since I started school, I have spent it finishing up assignments for the week, rushing to get everything turned in by the deadline, and reading/contributing to many discussion board posts. However, with graduation, I have found that I have my Sunday evenings back, and I now know how much I truly missed them. And it also makes me wonder how I ever survived without them!
and
8) Writing to be able to share. Not for a grade. Not a two page paper to be turned in on Sunday evening by midnight. Not a research paper. Not even a topic for sharing with others. Writing to put in print what is churning in my heart or my head. Writing to record a memory so I don't ever forget. Writing to leave a legacy for my children. Writing to share a truth with a friend.
I am sure as the days continue on, I will rediscover more and more simple pleasures that I have missed out on. I will be sure that when they come along I will once again be truly amazed at how much God loves me and thankful that my eyes and heart is open to enjoy the moment.
Blessings!
Joy
Thursday, April 03, 2008
Where in the world are you?
"I haven't seen a spacious place blog."
"I was looking at your blog but it hadn't been updated!"
"Where have you been Joy?"
Well, here I am! In the smack dab middle of chaos right now, but it's going to be that way for only a few weeks more, so I can endure.
In the past several months, so much has happened. I'll recap quickly!
Joel (my darling son in the 8th grade) did something I never thought he would do, and that was be in a musical. And he sang, really, really sang! In a microphone and everything. And more than that, he sang to me! I am thankful for his willingness to try something new and different for him. His father and I both knew how big of a leap this was for him, as well as how far out of his comfort zone he went, and I could not be prouder. But more than that, we (Joel and I) have a song. The guys who were in the musical sang several Billy Joel songs. One that I knew that Joel had a special part on was "She's got a way". This is one of my favorite songs of his, and I was excited to watch Joel sing it. Imagine how suprised I was when a picture of Joel and I filled the whole back of the stage when the song began. I was in shock! Joel and his Dad went through my box of pictures and Joel picked out a picture of the two of us together. It was sweet and touching and all I could think of for several days later is that now every time I hear that song, my heart will immediately take me back to my 13 year old son and the moment that was ours alone. Everyone can sigh now!! That's Joel there in the far right of the picture.
Joy
"I was looking at your blog but it hadn't been updated!"
"Where have you been Joy?"
Well, here I am! In the smack dab middle of chaos right now, but it's going to be that way for only a few weeks more, so I can endure.
In the past several months, so much has happened. I'll recap quickly!
Joel (my darling son in the 8th grade) did something I never thought he would do, and that was be in a musical. And he sang, really, really sang! In a microphone and everything. And more than that, he sang to me! I am thankful for his willingness to try something new and different for him. His father and I both knew how big of a leap this was for him, as well as how far out of his comfort zone he went, and I could not be prouder. But more than that, we (Joel and I) have a song. The guys who were in the musical sang several Billy Joel songs. One that I knew that Joel had a special part on was "She's got a way". This is one of my favorite songs of his, and I was excited to watch Joel sing it. Imagine how suprised I was when a picture of Joel and I filled the whole back of the stage when the song began. I was in shock! Joel and his Dad went through my box of pictures and Joel picked out a picture of the two of us together. It was sweet and touching and all I could think of for several days later is that now every time I hear that song, my heart will immediately take me back to my 13 year old son and the moment that was ours alone. Everyone can sigh now!! That's Joel there in the far right of the picture.
So what else is going on? Soccer is in full swing, baseball has started, too. Cheerleading and piano are keeping Julia busy right now, but it's almost time for softball to start. I did my student teaching in February and now I'm in the final 6 weeks of my classes and then Graduation is May 9th. There are no words to even describe how exciting that is. I have a red permanent marker to mark "finish your college degree" off of my to-do list.
What's amazing is that with everything that's going on, God is still finding me and speaking to my heart in such profound ways that I hadn't ever even thought of before. I feel somewhat like Mary in that all I can do is soak them in and ponder them in my heart. It's not quite time for sharing yet, but maybe soon.
So for all of you looking for me, I'm still here. IzitJo - my new friend from Australia, your post have encouraged me along, too.
Blessings!Joy
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Eternity Wasn't Enough
We had a young man come and speak at our church several Sunday's ago, and the words that were so simply spoken have made a lasting impression on my heart that must be recorded for my children in the future and must be shared with someone else that may need to hear them.
In his struggle to really feel and know that God loved Him, he began asking God about His love for him. He was struggling with not feeling that love on a continued basis. No different than it may be between a husband and wife, or between two close friends who are in different seasons in their lives and don't always show or give the love they need too.
So this young man began to ask God and question him, and this is what he realized.
God has always been. He's always known the future and the past and everything in between. So before the world was, God already had eternity. He didn't need or have to go through anything else to be loved more or be more powerful or more "God". But He loved us so much, that he just had to create the earth and the stars, and he had to create Adam and Eve and all of creation to make the world the way it is. And all of history had to take place and happen just so He could get to this point in time so that He could talk just to you and be with you and love you. He did all of that just so that we take on the form of man and love Him back. Eternity wasn't enough for Him ~ He wanted more ~ He wanted us ~ That's how much He loves us.
It's overwhelming....
Joy
In his struggle to really feel and know that God loved Him, he began asking God about His love for him. He was struggling with not feeling that love on a continued basis. No different than it may be between a husband and wife, or between two close friends who are in different seasons in their lives and don't always show or give the love they need too.
So this young man began to ask God and question him, and this is what he realized.
God has always been. He's always known the future and the past and everything in between. So before the world was, God already had eternity. He didn't need or have to go through anything else to be loved more or be more powerful or more "God". But He loved us so much, that he just had to create the earth and the stars, and he had to create Adam and Eve and all of creation to make the world the way it is. And all of history had to take place and happen just so He could get to this point in time so that He could talk just to you and be with you and love you. He did all of that just so that we take on the form of man and love Him back. Eternity wasn't enough for Him ~ He wanted more ~ He wanted us ~ That's how much He loves us.
It's overwhelming....
Joy
Saturday, January 19, 2008
A face lift!
So, you can see that the blog has had a face lift. Sprucing up. We all need it sometimes. And it was time for this blog to have one.
It is amazing to me how just a few changes on the outside can make such a big difference on how we feel on the inside. At the start of a new year many of us make plans to spruce up the outside to reflect the change that we hope will take place on the inside. That's backward, you know. I truly believe that only when there is an internal shift are there ever truly changes made that will be visible for people to see.
Holding onto worry....let go and people will see the peace of your spirit. What about regret...let go and freedom will be heard in your laughter. Insecurities, too? Leave them at the feet of Jesus and be ready to be amazed by the power of his Holy Spirit in your life. A quiet confidence will take over and you will truly never be the same. Mourning and sorrowful on the inside...He will turn them into dancing and joy if you only let Him.
So this year instead of making resolutions about changes to the outside of me, I believe that I will be working on the inside of me. Once that takes place, everything else will just fall into place.
Blessings!
Joy
It is amazing to me how just a few changes on the outside can make such a big difference on how we feel on the inside. At the start of a new year many of us make plans to spruce up the outside to reflect the change that we hope will take place on the inside. That's backward, you know. I truly believe that only when there is an internal shift are there ever truly changes made that will be visible for people to see.
Holding onto worry....let go and people will see the peace of your spirit. What about regret...let go and freedom will be heard in your laughter. Insecurities, too? Leave them at the feet of Jesus and be ready to be amazed by the power of his Holy Spirit in your life. A quiet confidence will take over and you will truly never be the same. Mourning and sorrowful on the inside...He will turn them into dancing and joy if you only let Him.
So this year instead of making resolutions about changes to the outside of me, I believe that I will be working on the inside of me. Once that takes place, everything else will just fall into place.
Blessings!
Joy
Saturday, January 05, 2008
A Grandmother's Gift.
Tonight I lost my Grandmother.
Sadie Ardella Hall Hagee. 97. Wife, Mother, Grandmother, Friend, church member, inspiration.
She was all of those things and more. Even though she has spent the last several years of her life in a nursing home, I cannot recall one time going to visit her that she didn't have a smile on her face. Even when those around her were not happy or looked miserable, she never did. She didn't complain, but gladly accepted whatever was given to her with that same smile.
After my mom called and told me and I ran into my husbands arms, so many memories flooded my mind. How crazy that the first one was when she made a bed for Eric in the bathtub. Greg asked why Eric wanted to sleep in the bathtub, and all I could say was that he was always crazy like that, but he did, and the next thing you know there were quilts lining the bathtub and had a bed all to himself. Only at Grandma Hagee's.
When we would stay with her there was always work to be done around the house, so homesickness never really settled in with me and my brother until bedtime. She would just quietly lay on the bed with us and tell us stories of her childhood. Memories she had of things she did with her sister and memories of her mother. Those were the stories that soothed us to sleep.
From her I learned how to snap green beans, shuck corn, and Crisco a nose on someones birthday! I dreamed dreams of a young girl on the hill where their house was in Pulaski in a hand made swing in a dogwood tree put up by my grandfather. We watched the Facts of Life together laughing at Blair and Tootie, and played Chinese checkers when that was over.
After having grown up in the home of a minister, and being surrounded by Pastors, Preachers and their families all the time, it was my Grandmother Sadie who taught me how to be just a regular old Church member. A servant. Faithful and dedicated.
She took me with her to her quilting at the church on Tuesdays and I watched as she sat around with her friends making quilts and telling stories and prayed. When we stayed with her, she always took us with her to pick up her friend and her daughter to take to church because they didn't have a ride any other way. She did the things she did not because they were a part of her job description, but because she was a servant of the Lord. She taught me about visiting by taking me with her to see the shut-in down the street, and she showed me how to be a good neighbor by making sure her next door neighbor was OK, often by sending me over there to check on her. She reached out to others in the way that only a child of Christ can, and I was blessed to witness it. I helped her cook to take food to church meals and I always was able to find Reece Cups in her pantry ~ they were her favorite.
She was so proud of my father. I wonder if she knew when he was born, and she gave him the name David, if she was given revelation that he would be a servant of the Lord like his namesake. I do know that she was blessed. And her blessing ran down to all of us.
So tonight, there is no more frailty in her body. No more weakness in her bones. She is healed and whole loving on Jesus. I couldn't ask for anything more for her. She didn't suffer. She didn't take months and months to go down hill, but went in a moment. I wasn't there, but I'm sure that smile was still there on her face and not a complaint on her lips. I can only pray to go the same way when it's my time.
The next days will not be easy. But I am left with the comfort of knowing that when I last saw her a few weeks ago I was able to kneel down and put some slipper/socks on her feet. I was able to take what she taught me and turn around and give it back to her. Servant hood. What a wonderful gift. What a blessing. What a heritage.
And I leave with the realization that God must love me so much to put such a woman in my lineage. So to him I say a quiet prayer of gratitude.
Heaven's choir is a little louder tonight with her voiced raised in worship.
Sing, Grandma, Sing!
Joy
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Realizations at Christmas
Ok. So we've had a busy couple of weeks, and it almost seems like it's slowing down for us some. That's so nice. I actually had a Saturday where I only had a birthday party that evening, and that's really where I'm going with this post.
Several years ago (at least 8) the Lord sent a very special young lady into my life. Had I known at the time the road we were to travel and the plans God had for us, I don't know that I would have believed it. I was 28 and the mother of 2. I had a great job and that a young 18 year old girl would come in and steal part of my heart was not anywhere in my best laid plans. However, how often does God consult with our best laid plans when looking at what's best for us and our lives -- never. So He sent me this beautiful, young, confused, seeking and searching young woman to befriend. At that point in our lives, the only thing I could do was offer sage advice when asked and make sure she was fed (Ramon noodles) and sheltered (julia's bed) when her world came crashing down on her over and over again.
See she had met this young, handsome, strong willed young man - at my house no less-- and fallen in love with him. Their road was not an easy one, and for me it was a very fine line to walk between telling her what she wanted to hear verses what she needed to hear and being available for her all the time, no matter the choices and decisions she made. I got to watch as she fell in love with him, and then I got to tend to her wounded spirit when he broke her heart, and then once again I stood by her as he worked on mending her heart and their love was put back together.
I remember sitting in the back of the church during her wedding telling the person I was sitting beside that I would kill him if he ever hurt her - and meaning every word of it. A little while after that I remember thinking that I had lost her. There was a space between us then, but I realized it was not because of him, but mainly because of life and all that it encompasses. I know she felt my disappointment but in my defense I had been the one to help put the pieces back together when her life was ripped apart and the warrior chick in me rose up against anyone coming close to her that could cause that much pain. I had seen her broken, and I didn't know if I could handle it again and surely she couldn't either.
Now it's like there was never any space there at all and what space there was served the purpose of drawing us closer together. As I was leaving her house last night where we had a birthday party for her husband, I realized that I finally trust in his love for her enough that I don't worry about that anymore. It's not that I didn't think that he loved her, I know he did, but it was just a clear simple whisper to my soul that said "put that worry away". I'm not sure exactly when I let go of that fear for her -- surely it's been gone for awhile now -- but it was a comfort to me to know it was no longer there. Too bad it took me several years and three babies later to clue myself in.
Some connections we have with people are so hard to explain and when we try, there are no words in the dictionary to describe them. Sister, friend, mentor, companion, fun-seeker - God connections that he brings to us to make our lives more full and complete. God knew what He was doing when He was writing the book of my life. He knew how much she would need me and I her. She knows there's little I wouldn't do for her and now it seems her family has fallen into that place as well. This is just another one of those gifts that God has given me this Christmas season and to Him I say thanks for the gift!
Blessings!
Joy
Several years ago (at least 8) the Lord sent a very special young lady into my life. Had I known at the time the road we were to travel and the plans God had for us, I don't know that I would have believed it. I was 28 and the mother of 2. I had a great job and that a young 18 year old girl would come in and steal part of my heart was not anywhere in my best laid plans. However, how often does God consult with our best laid plans when looking at what's best for us and our lives -- never. So He sent me this beautiful, young, confused, seeking and searching young woman to befriend. At that point in our lives, the only thing I could do was offer sage advice when asked and make sure she was fed (Ramon noodles) and sheltered (julia's bed) when her world came crashing down on her over and over again.
See she had met this young, handsome, strong willed young man - at my house no less-- and fallen in love with him. Their road was not an easy one, and for me it was a very fine line to walk between telling her what she wanted to hear verses what she needed to hear and being available for her all the time, no matter the choices and decisions she made. I got to watch as she fell in love with him, and then I got to tend to her wounded spirit when he broke her heart, and then once again I stood by her as he worked on mending her heart and their love was put back together.
I remember sitting in the back of the church during her wedding telling the person I was sitting beside that I would kill him if he ever hurt her - and meaning every word of it. A little while after that I remember thinking that I had lost her. There was a space between us then, but I realized it was not because of him, but mainly because of life and all that it encompasses. I know she felt my disappointment but in my defense I had been the one to help put the pieces back together when her life was ripped apart and the warrior chick in me rose up against anyone coming close to her that could cause that much pain. I had seen her broken, and I didn't know if I could handle it again and surely she couldn't either.
Now it's like there was never any space there at all and what space there was served the purpose of drawing us closer together. As I was leaving her house last night where we had a birthday party for her husband, I realized that I finally trust in his love for her enough that I don't worry about that anymore. It's not that I didn't think that he loved her, I know he did, but it was just a clear simple whisper to my soul that said "put that worry away". I'm not sure exactly when I let go of that fear for her -- surely it's been gone for awhile now -- but it was a comfort to me to know it was no longer there. Too bad it took me several years and three babies later to clue myself in.
Some connections we have with people are so hard to explain and when we try, there are no words in the dictionary to describe them. Sister, friend, mentor, companion, fun-seeker - God connections that he brings to us to make our lives more full and complete. God knew what He was doing when He was writing the book of my life. He knew how much she would need me and I her. She knows there's little I wouldn't do for her and now it seems her family has fallen into that place as well. This is just another one of those gifts that God has given me this Christmas season and to Him I say thanks for the gift!
Blessings!
Joy
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
All you've got
I just have to share with you the story Holly sent me today.....it's just can't be contained to a few people!
One Friday night there was a little boy who was overwhelmed with excitement that his uncle has came in to visit from out of state. It had been three years since he had seen his uncle. When he got there the little boy jumped all over him and said his name at least 100 times. The little boys face shined with excitment and curiousity. The little boy's parents got the chance to catch up on all they had missed on both ends. There was such a sad and confused look on the uncle's face and no matter what he said to be funny or to be serious the face still appeared. He didn't smile like he once did or talk like he once did. He seemed to be a uncle in search of his Savior. The parents got the chance to pour into him encouragement and testomonies but the face remained. The little boy was getting ready for bedtime as usual except tonight he had his uncle there to add to the nightly routine. The parents took the little boy in his room to tuck him in and pray for him. When the parents were done praying for him, the little boy sit up in his bed and asked if his uncle could pray for him. His mommy said yes so both parents walked him in the living room where the uncle was. The little boy crawled in his lap and said "Uncle will you pray for me?". The uncle looked at the boy and said it as been such a long time since I prayed I don't know where to begin or what to say. With hope in his eyes the little boy said" You can do it! Just try!!" The uncle begin to pray while the mommy watched the look on the little boys face as he watched his uncle pray. It was a face of longing for more words and emotion. When the uncle was done the little boy looked at him with a serious face and tone and said"Is that all you got?". The uncle laughed but the Lord taught me something that night as I was rocking my child at 2:30 in the morning. How many times do we give God just words. There is no emotion or true thankfulness in our voice or in our heart. How many times do you think he wonders or says"Is that all you got" after all I have done for you, all I have set you free from, all the times I protected you, all the times I was your joy in the morning, all the times I heard your cry and healed your broken heart, all the blessings I poured out on you, giving you every breath, saving a loved one that you once prayed for. He is teaching me to GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT!! He is worth it all!!!! We are to be thankful this Thanksgiving for what he has done in our lives. We should have a burning desire each week to give our worship all we got, we should pray with all we got! Never under estimate what you can learn out of the mouth of children. Sometimes it is just like God speaking to you himself. He is awesome and worthy of ALL WE GOT!!
What a wonderful Thanksgiving message -- and a great reminder that when we're tired, weary or worn, to keep giving all we've got.
Blessings!
Joy
One Friday night there was a little boy who was overwhelmed with excitement that his uncle has came in to visit from out of state. It had been three years since he had seen his uncle. When he got there the little boy jumped all over him and said his name at least 100 times. The little boys face shined with excitment and curiousity. The little boy's parents got the chance to catch up on all they had missed on both ends. There was such a sad and confused look on the uncle's face and no matter what he said to be funny or to be serious the face still appeared. He didn't smile like he once did or talk like he once did. He seemed to be a uncle in search of his Savior. The parents got the chance to pour into him encouragement and testomonies but the face remained. The little boy was getting ready for bedtime as usual except tonight he had his uncle there to add to the nightly routine. The parents took the little boy in his room to tuck him in and pray for him. When the parents were done praying for him, the little boy sit up in his bed and asked if his uncle could pray for him. His mommy said yes so both parents walked him in the living room where the uncle was. The little boy crawled in his lap and said "Uncle will you pray for me?". The uncle looked at the boy and said it as been such a long time since I prayed I don't know where to begin or what to say. With hope in his eyes the little boy said" You can do it! Just try!!" The uncle begin to pray while the mommy watched the look on the little boys face as he watched his uncle pray. It was a face of longing for more words and emotion. When the uncle was done the little boy looked at him with a serious face and tone and said"Is that all you got?". The uncle laughed but the Lord taught me something that night as I was rocking my child at 2:30 in the morning. How many times do we give God just words. There is no emotion or true thankfulness in our voice or in our heart. How many times do you think he wonders or says"Is that all you got" after all I have done for you, all I have set you free from, all the times I protected you, all the times I was your joy in the morning, all the times I heard your cry and healed your broken heart, all the blessings I poured out on you, giving you every breath, saving a loved one that you once prayed for. He is teaching me to GIVE IT ALL YOU GOT!! He is worth it all!!!! We are to be thankful this Thanksgiving for what he has done in our lives. We should have a burning desire each week to give our worship all we got, we should pray with all we got! Never under estimate what you can learn out of the mouth of children. Sometimes it is just like God speaking to you himself. He is awesome and worthy of ALL WE GOT!!
What a wonderful Thanksgiving message -- and a great reminder that when we're tired, weary or worn, to keep giving all we've got.
Blessings!
Joy
Thursday, November 08, 2007
A Fairy Tale ~ from Misery to Melissa
Long ago in a land far, far away lived a very, very fragile, delicate seedling whose name was Misery. Misery recieved her name because in the land where she lived of lavender skies and pink and green stars, she always seemed to be missing something from making her complete. When ever she looked around, all she could see was the life she dreamed of having as a beautiful, strong flower bringing joy and happiness to those around her. However, because Misery only looked at the small, delicate stature that was hers she always believed that she would never be able to realize her dream.Misery spent time looking and searching for anything to help her become the strong flower she was supposed to be, but it was so hard, and she didn't trust herself to make oh-so-wise decisions, so when a bush that was full, thick, and sturdy came her way and started paying attention to her, she felt a ray of hope that finally, at last, her savior had come, and surely this big strong bush with such green luscious colors would know the key to helping her become the strong giving flower she was supposed to be. Misery so wanted this bush to be her knight in shining armour, that she never really took the time to look inside the bush and see what he was made of. Yes, friends, it was only later after she had attached her small fragile beauty to this domineering strong bush that she found out about the thorns and the pain that they inflicted. It took all of the strength and will she could muster from her shallow roots to break free from the hold of that strong bush had enveloped her in, but weary, worn, and tired and broken, she finally broke free.
Now, the little seeding Misery was scratched, tattered and torn, not knowing really what to do. Surely, her little life would be over now for really, who could ever love such a small, weak, broken little flower. While the little seedling was thinking such bad thoughts about herself, and crying such big, gray tears, the great King took notice of little Misery, and his heart began to ache for her. He knew that with a little love, attention, and nurturing, this little seedling could surely become all that she dreamed of being. So the great King gathered some of his favorite workers, and planted them next to her to help tend to her. They spent time with her, telling her just how special she was. Some watered her spirit, some helped till the soil around her roots, and even others were brought in to groom and polish her leaves. Misery couldn't believe that the King would think so much of her and she knew that they wouldn't stay but only be there for a short time. After a time she noticed that her roots were starting to grow deep along with her special friends. It was a strange feeling really when she noticed that the wind could no longer blow her over anymore. It was only then that she noticed that the roots of her new friends were deep, too. No longer was she just a lone, weak, broken little flower by her self, but she had now become a part of a small flower garden.
In this flower garden, little Misery received the sunshine she so desperately needed, and slowly she began to grow and one day she noticed that no longer did she cower under those most beautiful flowers around her, but she was now just as tall as they were. Could it be, then, that there is a possibility of her one day becoming the flower she dreamed of being? At that exact moment, the King placed a small seed of hope in her heart, and after that, day by day, Misery allowed the hope to grow. No longer was she afraid of every little shrub, bush and flower that come by, but she embraced her new found strength.
Then one day in this kingdom so far, far away, the King once again looked down at little Misery and saw that she wasn't so weak and fragile anymore, but she had grown into a tall beautiful flower able to give joy, pleasure, and love to those around her. So the King began to search far and wide for the special someone who he could give the now beautiful flower too. He was looking for someone that would know and appreciate her for the true beauty she had become. While the King was looking, a strong Knight came to the King requesting an audience with him as it was of utmost importance that he speak to him at once. Putting the once little seedling at the back of his mind, the King granted the Knight's audience and was shocked by the request he was hearing. It seemed that the Knight had been lost in the woods and while he was sitting wondering which way to go, the Knight noticed as a small weak flower as she lifted her head to the sunshine and her colors changed from dull and lifeless to vibrant and beautiful. It had so made an impression on the knight that he was unable to get the flower out of his mind, and he was there to request the permission of the King to find the beautiful flower so that he could take it home and put it in a place of honor so that every day the Knight could gaze upon a true beauty he had found.
The King was so pleased that the Knight had seen the true beauty of the flower Misery that not only did he give him permission to find and take the flower, but he also gave him a pot of gold to plant the flower in, so that whenever anyone would gaze upon the beautiful flower, they would see that she was truly honored and loved by the King. With that the Knight went off to get the flower with the King's blessing.
When the Knight approached the now beautiful flower Misery in the small garden where she was planted, she at first became afraid and she again begin to feel like the little weak and worn seedling she once was, but when the Knight began talking to her, her little eyes began to once again glisten with tears, though this time, they were of the most beatiful clear blue color. See, the great Knight with his big, strong, gentle hands was telling her how he had gazed upon her as she was transforming in beauty and how he was unable to get the picture of her out of his thoughts. He then went on to tell her how much she was truly loved by the King and how the King loved her so much as to give him a gold pot to plant her in so that everyone could see her beauty and how special she really was. Her most favorite part of what he said though, was when he was telling her about the name she was going to get. He then talked of special nymph who helped take care of the young greek god Zeus and how she helped to care for him and earned a special place there. He told her that she reminded him of that nymph in how just seeing her transformation had helped care for him when he was lost and alone so he was going to name her after that nymph ~~ Melissa.
It was almost more than she could take. It was certainly more than she ever dreamed. And even though she was sad to leave her special friends that the King had planted around her to help her grow into her true beauty, she was now very excited to be going to her new home and she knew that there she would finally find the place that she belonged. Never again would she be the small, weak, worn and broken little Misery.
So now in this land far, far away of lavinder skies and pink and green stars, there is Misery no more. Only the true beauty of those so loved by the King.
The End.
~~ For a beautiful girl inside and out, who has touched my heart in many ways. Many blessings as you leave our little garden!
Love you much!
Joy
Monday, October 29, 2007
For C-Man!
So, I was reminded today that I haven't posted in a while....Do you hear me sighing? I don't mean to sigh, but I'm sighing none the less. I love writing, really, I do, and it's not that I don't have anything to say, just not enough time to get it out. And that in itself causes me to do the sighing.
Life here has been crazy the past few months. We've been on vacation, gotten both kids back in the school swing, have completed a whole season of Carlisle JV soccer, almost completed a whole season of travel soccer, had a daughter who got perfect scores on her SOL's, I've already completed 2 classes this fall, been to a BYOP party and we are now in the process of painting part of our house. Crazy, I told you! Are you tired yet?
But more than that, I've been in a different kind of place. I don't know if it's because I just had a birthday (and it was a great one, thank you very much!), but God is doing such a work in me right now that it's really hard to put into words. And right now, I don't think that I'm supposed too. I think for this time and place that I'm in now, it's a time for ponderings and time for me to let it saturate, soak, and change me on the inside before I can share it with the outside. I'll let you know when that happens....
However, I'll try to get you updated on a more regular basis!
Do you know what I just realized? I turned 36 yesterday. That in itself is uneventful ~ but it does mean that I've now been out of my parents home for the same amount of time that I was there -- 18 years! Just another one of those things for me to ponder! My brain is getting really crowded. :-)
C-Man - this one's just for you. I love ya!
Blessings!
Joy
Life here has been crazy the past few months. We've been on vacation, gotten both kids back in the school swing, have completed a whole season of Carlisle JV soccer, almost completed a whole season of travel soccer, had a daughter who got perfect scores on her SOL's, I've already completed 2 classes this fall, been to a BYOP party and we are now in the process of painting part of our house. Crazy, I told you! Are you tired yet?
But more than that, I've been in a different kind of place. I don't know if it's because I just had a birthday (and it was a great one, thank you very much!), but God is doing such a work in me right now that it's really hard to put into words. And right now, I don't think that I'm supposed too. I think for this time and place that I'm in now, it's a time for ponderings and time for me to let it saturate, soak, and change me on the inside before I can share it with the outside. I'll let you know when that happens....
However, I'll try to get you updated on a more regular basis!
Do you know what I just realized? I turned 36 yesterday. That in itself is uneventful ~ but it does mean that I've now been out of my parents home for the same amount of time that I was there -- 18 years! Just another one of those things for me to ponder! My brain is getting really crowded. :-)
C-Man - this one's just for you. I love ya!
Blessings!
Joy
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Happy Birthday!
Well, this is it. The day that Joel has been anticipating and I have been dreading! My wonderful boy, my son, turns thirteen years old today. It's hardly possible to think about, but it's here and I have no choice but to put on a happy face and not dwell on the fact that he is no longer my baby boy, but now a young man.
In September of 1993, Joel was nothing but a grain of faith. He was a dream, a longing of this mother's heart, promised to me by God through our Pastor at the time, Tim Hill. Two months later, he was being formed and created, and he was faith realized. Seven months after that, in June of 1994, my son became my dream come true. At that moment, holding a 3 lb, 14 oz little boy, my world took on a different dimension, and if I never accomplished anything else in life, I know that I had fulfilled my greatest purpose.
Only God knew the path he carved out for us and for Joel, and only He has been able to help us with each and every aspect of his life, from his premature birth, to some of the difficulties that came along with it. And it is only every other minute or so that I realize how truly great He is.
I am not one of those mother's who thinks her child can do no wrong....I know he can, and he does. I know that there are still many, many things for him to learn about the choices he makes and how they will affect the rest of his life. However, I also know what kind of person he is at the core of himself. He has a drive and determination that can't be described. He is a pleaser and would go out of his way to make sure that you are pleased with him. He wants to help, and he wants to give. He brings joy to us, and to those around him. He is so different from me in that he is just a friend magnet. He meets new ones everywhere he goes and thrives being surrounded by people.
It has been so pleasing to watch as certain loves in his life are coming forth. He absolutely loves to fish...well, that's in his genes....from his grandfathers. There are other things that he loves, too, and they would seem to come from loves that are handed down from generation to generation. He is competitive and loves to win, and when his team looses, he takes the loss personally, on his shoulders and bears the weight of it. It is troubling sometimes to watch, but also very revealing about his character. He is the first to help someone up, pick-up something a stranger has dropped for them, or hold the door open for a stranger....and he is also the one who will hold the door shut for a friend to bring a laugh. He tries to lie, but he can't. I almost feel sorry for him. Almost.
I have so many hopes and dreams for him and his future, however, I know that they are nothing compared to the plans and will of our Father for his life. From the time he was born, he has been favored by God. His hand upon his life has been so evident through these past 13 years, sometimes invisible to anyone but us, and other times visible by many(baseball Allstars, baby!). It is with much joy and anticipation that I look forward to watching him become the young man I know he will. I pray for so many things for him, but I also am praying that God helps me be the Mom to him that he needs, to help guide and steer him in the right directions, to help him when he stumbles, and to help him know that he is always loved unconditionally, not only by God, but by his parents, too, because that's the way that Jesus loves us....unconditionally.
So, if you happen to see my blue-eyed, blond haired young man this week, give him a hug and tell him Happy Birthday, then say a silent prayer for his teenage years. And when you've done that, say a silent prayer for his mom, she will probably need it more than him!
Tuesday, June 05, 2007
On Seeking God
I thought I would share the devotion I am meditating on this week. It comes from my "Busy Mom's Guide to Wisdom" journal by Lisa Whelchel. In this book, you are given a different proverb each week, and a short insight to pray and think over during the week. Here's where I'm at:
"If I offered you a parenting book that had all the answers you've ever wanted regarding how to raise the healthiest, happiest, and godliest children ever, would you devour that book, or would you leave it on the nightstand for days on end without picking it up? What if I gave you a map and told you that all you had to do was follow the directions on the map, grab a shovel, and dig deep, then you would surely find untold wealth; what would you do? I doubt you'd be too busy or think the map was too old to pay attention to or decide it wasn't worth the time and energy necessary to dig for it. And yet, too often, that's how we respond to the offer to know God and to find the wealth of wisdom He promises. Do we not think the opportunity to personally know the Creator of the universe is worth a little effort? I would think that having infinite wisdom available to us would be pretty valuable. You do too? Great -- then pick up the nearest Bible and dig. There's treasure just waiting to be found."
There is something just so exciting about scripture coming alive to me. I still marvel at how I can be feeling a certain way, or needing reassurances, and open the Word and start reading and the words just leap off of the page to my heart, giving me that calm reassurance that I need to keep on going. And I am at the place in my life where I just want to know Him more than anything. I want Him, and His knowledge, and His ways, because I've tried it on my own, and Lord knows that my ways only work for a little while. But His ways and thoughts are so much higher than mine. So in my meditating this week, I am praying and planning how I can get more of Him. It may sound weird to say I'm planning to get more of God, but I have found that in my crazy, busy, schedule jam-packed filled life, if I don't plan to spend time with God, I miss out on that special time with Him.
So I'm worshipping, and looking for Him. The best part of all is that He is just waiting to be found.
Joy
You have to want to KNOW God
more than anything else in the
world. Worship Him and actually
look for Him, and you WILL find Him.
Proverbs 2:4-5, paraphrased.
"If I offered you a parenting book that had all the answers you've ever wanted regarding how to raise the healthiest, happiest, and godliest children ever, would you devour that book, or would you leave it on the nightstand for days on end without picking it up? What if I gave you a map and told you that all you had to do was follow the directions on the map, grab a shovel, and dig deep, then you would surely find untold wealth; what would you do? I doubt you'd be too busy or think the map was too old to pay attention to or decide it wasn't worth the time and energy necessary to dig for it. And yet, too often, that's how we respond to the offer to know God and to find the wealth of wisdom He promises. Do we not think the opportunity to personally know the Creator of the universe is worth a little effort? I would think that having infinite wisdom available to us would be pretty valuable. You do too? Great -- then pick up the nearest Bible and dig. There's treasure just waiting to be found."
There is something just so exciting about scripture coming alive to me. I still marvel at how I can be feeling a certain way, or needing reassurances, and open the Word and start reading and the words just leap off of the page to my heart, giving me that calm reassurance that I need to keep on going. And I am at the place in my life where I just want to know Him more than anything. I want Him, and His knowledge, and His ways, because I've tried it on my own, and Lord knows that my ways only work for a little while. But His ways and thoughts are so much higher than mine. So in my meditating this week, I am praying and planning how I can get more of Him. It may sound weird to say I'm planning to get more of God, but I have found that in my crazy, busy, schedule jam-packed filled life, if I don't plan to spend time with God, I miss out on that special time with Him.
So I'm worshipping, and looking for Him. The best part of all is that He is just waiting to be found.
Joy
Friday, June 01, 2007
A diamond in the dirt
The past few weeks, our lives have seemingly been overtaken by a diamond in the dirt. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, it's a baseball diamond. You know...that square patch of dirt with white boxes in each corner...where everyone from children to grown men spend countless amounts of time trying to hit a little ball with a stick and run from points A to B to C to make getting to D count. This spring, both of my children signed up to play, and on one hand it's been very rewarding and on the other it has proven to be a very frustrating experience.
Greg. loves. baseball. It's his sport, his thing. It's what he spent the majority of his youth involved in. Whether he played for the local pony league, for Hargrave, or for the Martinsville Oilers, he loved to play. It's a game he knows, and stepping back into baseball after being gone from it for so long has been a seamless transition for him. His heart is overflowing once again with love for the game and all of this baseball has taken him back to the glory of his youth. (Lord, help me!)
However, for one young son who has spent uncountable hours practicing, playing, and perfecting the game of soccer, the move to baseball has not been so easy. We're learning so much through this, and believe you me....it's not always been an enjoyable experience. Going from a team where you are a leader and anchor to playing on a team where you just want to get off the bench has been a humbling experience for my soon to be teenager. Joel has learned that the game is not quite as easy as it looks. It has taken many, many weeks, and much practice and last night he finally came home triumphant because he got a hit! Too bad this was only practice....if he ever does it in a game, he just might get so excited he won't make it around the bases. Not only is the hitting hard to get used to, but the pace of the game is really different as well. So as much as I don't like the everyday practices, two and a half hour games, frustrations and "discussions", it has already ended up being a good learning experience for him. And we're finding so many teaching opportunities in it.
Julia loves her girls softball team. She likes it so much better than soccer. It's non-contact (for the most part). It doesn't require too much running, and it doesn't seem to interfere with the other things she loves to do. We'll see how she does.
For me, baseball is an opportunity to just sit back and relax while watching my children play. It doesn't involve the same amount of emotion and adrenaline as soccer. It's something that I played, so I can get out and play with them, and it's one more thing that we can spend time doing together.
And isn't that the point of it all, anyway?
Blessings!
Greg. loves. baseball. It's his sport, his thing. It's what he spent the majority of his youth involved in. Whether he played for the local pony league, for Hargrave, or for the Martinsville Oilers, he loved to play. It's a game he knows, and stepping back into baseball after being gone from it for so long has been a seamless transition for him. His heart is overflowing once again with love for the game and all of this baseball has taken him back to the glory of his youth. (Lord, help me!)However, for one young son who has spent uncountable hours practicing, playing, and perfecting the game of soccer, the move to baseball has not been so easy. We're learning so much through this, and believe you me....it's not always been an enjoyable experience. Going from a team where you are a leader and anchor to playing on a team where you just want to get off the bench has been a humbling experience for my soon to be teenager. Joel has learned that the game is not quite as easy as it looks. It has taken many, many weeks, and much practice and last night he finally came home triumphant because he got a hit! Too bad this was only practice....if he ever does it in a game, he just might get so excited he won't make it around the bases. Not only is the hitting hard to get used to, but the pace of the game is really different as well. So as much as I don't like the everyday practices, two and a half hour games, frustrations and "discussions", it has already ended up being a good learning experience for him. And we're finding so many teaching opportunities in it.
Julia loves her girls softball team. She likes it so much better than soccer. It's non-contact (for the most part). It doesn't require too much running, and it doesn't seem to interfere with the other things she loves to do. We'll see how she does.
For me, baseball is an opportunity to just sit back and relax while watching my children play. It doesn't involve the same amount of emotion and adrenaline as soccer. It's something that I played, so I can get out and play with them, and it's one more thing that we can spend time doing together.
And isn't that the point of it all, anyway?
Blessings!
Overwhelming
Dear Father in heaven,
-- hear the song of my heart today --
The more I seek You--
the more I find You--
the more I find You--
the more I love You--
I want to sit at your feet
drink from the cup in Your hand
lay back against you and breath
feel Your heartbeat
this love is so deep
it's more than I can stand
I melt in Your peace
it's overwhelming
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
Update on Life
It's been awhile, and during that time, my life has went from one extreme to another.
The first extreme was sheer joy that I finished my classes for the semester so I can get some much needed things done around my house. Even with a three day extension on one class, I didn't know if I was going to make it or not! So Wednesday evening when I finished my last test, I was so praising the Lord that I'm sure the Angels joined in my Hallelujah chorus. :-) I am so looking forward to the summer off. After a year and a half of non-stop full time college and work and home, I almost can't contain the excitement. I have so many things to catch up on and do that the list may seem endless, but it's one that I tackle with excitement. And hopefully, this break will give me the energy I need to finish up in the fall. The the real party will begin.
This extreme feeling for happiness was immediately followed the next day by extreme sorrow as Greg called to tell me his Grandmother Gladys had passed away. This threw me into several days of being contantly on the go and not one moment to myself (more on this another day). I know that the only way I made it through some of those moments is that God literally come and moved my feet. He is so good to me that words fail to describe how much He truly means to me.
So, this has been a crazy time, but really, when is my life not crazy!
Blessings!
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
A Legacy of Friendship
I have been working on this post for the past two weeks. That's how long it's been since Ms. Dot went to be with Jesus. I know that she is in a much better place, with no pain or sorrow. She's with her mom again (whom she took so much care of) and I wouldn't want her back in this world for anything. However, that doesn't take the sting out of the loss that we here left behind feel. Thank you so much for praying for her and her church. God truly has shown himself strong during this time.
Dot was one of my mother's best friends. I don't remember when they met for the first time. I don't know if it was sisterhood at first meeting, but I do know that it was God appointed. I can't remember anything big that ever happened in my life that she wasn't there for in some way, shape, or form. I guess after her two boys were grown and gone, she just kept right on going with my brother and I.
The thing that she has left with me, and the word that rolls around in my mind when I hear her name is Legacy. In particular, the legacy of friendship. I know of no other friendship that I have had the honor of witnessing that has taught me more than the friendship of my mother and Dot.
Several months ago, I taught a lesson about girlfriends and the gift that they are from God, using examples of Mary and Elizabeth, Ruth and Naomi, and the soul friendship of Jonathan and David. Not everyday friendships, but God designed friendships. The examples and the lessons that we learn in the Word from their lives is easily reflected in the lives of my Mom and Mrs. Dot. I always remember them together, and what I have learned during the past few weeks is that not only was their friendship witnessed by me, it was witnessed by people from the rest of the state of Virginia. I saw many who not only came to the viewing/funeral to offer comfort and support to her husband and family, but after they spoke to them, they moved on and sought out my mother to offer her support and comfort as well, knowing that she, too, had lost someone very special.
I remember traveling with Dot, and shopping with Dot. I remember trying to stay awake so I could hear the adult conversations that I probably didn't need to between my parents and the Collins. There were serious conversations about God, the Church and winning the lost, about boating and fishing between my Dad and Pastor Bobby, but the conversations between my Mom and Mrs. Dot were about family and people and shopping and support for ministry. There were conversations about hair styles and fashion colors and a shared love of animal print. I remember the way they used to play cards and try and send signals to each other. I remember that they always saved each other a seat. But more than anything, I can still hear in my mind the mischievous way that Dot would say "Now, Janice" and her deep laugh when they were being just ever so naughty.
During this past year, God has illuminated for me some friendships that I have that are much like these. These friendships have become special treasures to me. My prayer is that my daughter will grow up with the same examples of God-given friendships that I had the privilege to witness and aspire to. And may I recognize the special gift that they are now, while on earth, so that I can enjoy them, and nurture them and take care of them so when the storms of life do come my way, I will have some people there to lean on and help carry me through the storm.
My mother has some other very special friends, and I am so thankful that she has those to lean on during this time. I imagine now that she has lost this special treasure, it will enable her to hold more closely the treasures she still has in her possession. What a gift!
So Mrs. Dot, dance with Jesus for me until I get there and it's my turn.
Dot was one of my mother's best friends. I don't remember when they met for the first time. I don't know if it was sisterhood at first meeting, but I do know that it was God appointed. I can't remember anything big that ever happened in my life that she wasn't there for in some way, shape, or form. I guess after her two boys were grown and gone, she just kept right on going with my brother and I.
The thing that she has left with me, and the word that rolls around in my mind when I hear her name is Legacy. In particular, the legacy of friendship. I know of no other friendship that I have had the honor of witnessing that has taught me more than the friendship of my mother and Dot.
Several months ago, I taught a lesson about girlfriends and the gift that they are from God, using examples of Mary and Elizabeth, Ruth and Naomi, and the soul friendship of Jonathan and David. Not everyday friendships, but God designed friendships. The examples and the lessons that we learn in the Word from their lives is easily reflected in the lives of my Mom and Mrs. Dot. I always remember them together, and what I have learned during the past few weeks is that not only was their friendship witnessed by me, it was witnessed by people from the rest of the state of Virginia. I saw many who not only came to the viewing/funeral to offer comfort and support to her husband and family, but after they spoke to them, they moved on and sought out my mother to offer her support and comfort as well, knowing that she, too, had lost someone very special.
I remember traveling with Dot, and shopping with Dot. I remember trying to stay awake so I could hear the adult conversations that I probably didn't need to between my parents and the Collins. There were serious conversations about God, the Church and winning the lost, about boating and fishing between my Dad and Pastor Bobby, but the conversations between my Mom and Mrs. Dot were about family and people and shopping and support for ministry. There were conversations about hair styles and fashion colors and a shared love of animal print. I remember the way they used to play cards and try and send signals to each other. I remember that they always saved each other a seat. But more than anything, I can still hear in my mind the mischievous way that Dot would say "Now, Janice" and her deep laugh when they were being just ever so naughty.
During this past year, God has illuminated for me some friendships that I have that are much like these. These friendships have become special treasures to me. My prayer is that my daughter will grow up with the same examples of God-given friendships that I had the privilege to witness and aspire to. And may I recognize the special gift that they are now, while on earth, so that I can enjoy them, and nurture them and take care of them so when the storms of life do come my way, I will have some people there to lean on and help carry me through the storm.
My mother has some other very special friends, and I am so thankful that she has those to lean on during this time. I imagine now that she has lost this special treasure, it will enable her to hold more closely the treasures she still has in her possession. What a gift!
So Mrs. Dot, dance with Jesus for me until I get there and it's my turn.
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