Realizations at Christmas

Ok. So we've had a busy couple of weeks, and it almost seems like it's slowing down for us some. That's so nice. I actually had a Saturday where I only had a birthday party that evening, and that's really where I'm going with this post.

Several years ago (at least 8) the Lord sent a very special young lady into my life. Had I known at the time the road we were to travel and the plans God had for us, I don't know that I would have believed it. I was 28 and the mother of 2. I had a great job and that a young 18 year old girl would come in and steal part of my heart was not anywhere in my best laid plans. However, how often does God consult with our best laid plans when looking at what's best for us and our lives -- never. So He sent me this beautiful, young, confused, seeking and searching young woman to befriend. At that point in our lives, the only thing I could do was offer sage advice when asked and make sure she was fed (Ramon noodles) and sheltered (julia's bed) when her world came crashing down on her over and over again.

See she had met this young, handsome, strong willed young man - at my house no less-- and fallen in love with him. Their road was not an easy one, and for me it was a very fine line to walk between telling her what she wanted to hear verses what she needed to hear and being available for her all the time, no matter the choices and decisions she made. I got to watch as she fell in love with him, and then I got to tend to her wounded spirit when he broke her heart, and then once again I stood by her as he worked on mending her heart and their love was put back together.

I remember sitting in the back of the church during her wedding telling the person I was sitting beside that I would kill him if he ever hurt her - and meaning every word of it. A little while after that I remember thinking that I had lost her. There was a space between us then, but I realized it was not because of him, but mainly because of life and all that it encompasses. I know she felt my disappointment but in my defense I had been the one to help put the pieces back together when her life was ripped apart and the warrior chick in me rose up against anyone coming close to her that could cause that much pain. I had seen her broken, and I didn't know if I could handle it again and surely she couldn't either.

Now it's like there was never any space there at all and what space there was served the purpose of drawing us closer together. As I was leaving her house last night where we had a birthday party for her husband, I realized that I finally trust in his love for her enough that I don't worry about that anymore. It's not that I didn't think that he loved her, I know he did, but it was just a clear simple whisper to my soul that said "put that worry away". I'm not sure exactly when I let go of that fear for her -- surely it's been gone for awhile now -- but it was a comfort to me to know it was no longer there. Too bad it took me several years and three babies later to clue myself in.

Some connections we have with people are so hard to explain and when we try, there are no words in the dictionary to describe them. Sister, friend, mentor, companion, fun-seeker - God connections that he brings to us to make our lives more full and complete. God knew what He was doing when He was writing the book of my life. He knew how much she would need me and I her. She knows there's little I wouldn't do for her and now it seems her family has fallen into that place as well. This is just another one of those gifts that God has given me this Christmas season and to Him I say thanks for the gift!

Blessings!
Joy

A Fairy Tale ~ from Misery to Melissa

Long ago in a land far, far away lived a very, very fragile, delicate seedling whose name was Misery. Misery recieved her name because in the land where she lived of lavender skies and pink and green stars, she always seemed to be missing something from making her complete. When ever she looked around, all she could see was the life she dreamed of having as a beautiful, strong flower bringing joy and happiness to those around her. However, because Misery only looked at the small, delicate stature that was hers she always believed that she would never be able to realize her dream.

Misery spent time looking and searching for anything to help her become the strong flower she was supposed to be, but it was so hard, and she didn't trust herself to make oh-so-wise decisions, so when a bush that was full, thick, and sturdy came her way and started paying attention to her, she felt a ray of hope that finally, at last, her savior had come, and surely this big strong bush with such green luscious colors would know the key to helping her become the strong giving flower she was supposed to be. Misery so wanted this bush to be her knight in shining armour, that she never really took the time to look inside the bush and see what he was made of. Yes, friends, it was only later after she had attached her small fragile beauty to this domineering strong bush that she found out about the thorns and the pain that they inflicted. It took all of the strength and will she could muster from her shallow roots to break free from the hold of that strong bush had enveloped her in, but weary, worn, and tired and broken, she finally broke free.

Now, the little seeding Misery was scratched, tattered and torn, not knowing really what to do. Surely, her little life would be over now for really, who could ever love such a small, weak, broken little flower. While the little seedling was thinking such bad thoughts about herself, and crying such big, gray tears, the great King took notice of little Misery, and his heart began to ache for her. He knew that with a little love, attention, and nurturing, this little seedling could surely become all that she dreamed of being. So the great King gathered some of his favorite workers, and planted them next to her to help tend to her. They spent time with her, telling her just how special she was. Some watered her spirit, some helped till the soil around her roots, and even others were brought in to groom and polish her leaves. Misery couldn't believe that the King would think so much of her and she knew that they wouldn't stay but only be there for a short time. After a time she noticed that her roots were starting to grow deep along with her special friends. It was a strange feeling really when she noticed that the wind could no longer blow her over anymore. It was only then that she noticed that the roots of her new friends were deep, too. No longer was she just a lone, weak, broken little flower by her self, but she had now become a part of a small flower garden.

In this flower garden, little Misery received the sunshine she so desperately needed, and slowly she began to grow and one day she noticed that no longer did she cower under those most beautiful flowers around her, but she was now just as tall as they were. Could it be, then, that there is a possibility of her one day becoming the flower she dreamed of being? At that exact moment, the King placed a small seed of hope in her heart, and after that, day by day, Misery allowed the hope to grow. No longer was she afraid of every little shrub, bush and flower that come by, but she embraced her new found strength.

Then one day in this kingdom so far, far away, the King once again looked down at little Misery and saw that she wasn't so weak and fragile anymore, but she had grown into a tall beautiful flower able to give joy, pleasure, and love to those around her. So the King began to search far and wide for the special someone who he could give the now beautiful flower too. He was looking for someone that would know and appreciate her for the true beauty she had become. While the King was looking, a strong Knight came to the King requesting an audience with him as it was of utmost importance that he speak to him at once. Putting the once little seedling at the back of his mind, the King granted the Knight's audience and was shocked by the request he was hearing. It seemed that the Knight had been lost in the woods and while he was sitting wondering which way to go, the Knight noticed as a small weak flower as she lifted her head to the sunshine and her colors changed from dull and lifeless to vibrant and beautiful. It had so made an impression on the knight that he was unable to get the flower out of his mind, and he was there to request the permission of the King to find the beautiful flower so that he could take it home and put it in a place of honor so that every day the Knight could gaze upon a true beauty he had found.

The King was so pleased that the Knight had seen the true beauty of the flower Misery that not only did he give him permission to find and take the flower, but he also gave him a pot of gold to plant the flower in, so that whenever anyone would gaze upon the beautiful flower, they would see that she was truly honored and loved by the King. With that the Knight went off to get the flower with the King's blessing.

When the Knight approached the now beautiful flower Misery in the small garden where she was planted, she at first became afraid and she again begin to feel like the little weak and worn seedling she once was, but when the Knight began talking to her, her little eyes began to once again glisten with tears, though this time, they were of the most beatiful clear blue color. See, the great Knight with his big, strong, gentle hands was telling her how he had gazed upon her as she was transforming in beauty and how he was unable to get the picture of her out of his thoughts. He then went on to tell her how much she was truly loved by the King and how the King loved her so much as to give him a gold pot to plant her in so that everyone could see her beauty and how special she really was. Her most favorite part of what he said though, was when he was telling her about the name she was going to get. He then talked of special nymph who helped take care of the young greek god Zeus and how she helped to care for him and earned a special place there. He told her that she reminded him of that nymph in how just seeing her transformation had helped care for him when he was lost and alone so he was going to name her after that nymph ~~ Melissa.

It was almost more than she could take. It was certainly more than she ever dreamed. And even though she was sad to leave her special friends that the King had planted around her to help her grow into her true beauty, she was now very excited to be going to her new home and she knew that there she would finally find the place that she belonged. Never again would she be the small, weak, worn and broken little Misery.

So now in this land far, far away of lavinder skies and pink and green stars, there is Misery no more. Only the true beauty of those so loved by the King.

The End.

~~ For a beautiful girl inside and out, who has touched my heart in many ways. Many blessings as you leave our little garden!

Love you much!

Joy